that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
