At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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