Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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