My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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