I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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