I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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