who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
