can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
