Tell her she can't have a vagina
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
