I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
