I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
