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I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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