Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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