How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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