dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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