anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
