seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
