I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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