I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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