There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
