I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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