I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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