no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
