Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
