I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
