Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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