alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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