Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
