I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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