There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
