bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
