i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
