his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
