Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
