But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
