When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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