saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
