I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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