my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm having to shit out rocks
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
