some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
