i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
