D3 body, D1 cock
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
