we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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