why didn't you poke me back
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
