Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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