Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
