i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
