Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
