But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
