dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
vagina is talking i cant
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
