i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
