It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
